The Cozy Castle in a Cottage

Great T-Shirt

2009-08-21T15:34:00.002-04:00

I was picking up some supplies for our hamster at Petsmart the other day and I saw a lady with a t-shirt that read, "The 2nd Amendment is Homeland Security." I couldn't agree more. Let's quit giving away our right to protect and defend ourselves to the government. I'd rather live in an America where terrorists know the civilian population is armed and has no qualms about taking them out.

More Unnecessary Tasering

2009-08-18T16:10:00.003-04:00

Okay, someone who is lying at the bottom of a bridge with a broken back and deliriously making threatening statements about police officers is an actual threat to the officers' safety how? There isn't a lot of information on the case but you can view the news report here. Some officers aren't waiting until their lives are actually in danger to use tasers. For them, mouthing off or non-compliance are a good enough excuses to incapacitate the citizens with whom they are interacting. In my opinion, this is completely un-American behavior. In fact,the whole "show your papers and comply immediately or I'll use potentially deadly force because I'm wearing a government badge" attitude which keeps popping up in police conduct sounds a lot more like a country under Nazi or communist rule than America where everyone is supposed to be both subject to the laws and protected by them. Police should not be able to abuse their power simply because they are public servants, if anything they should be held to the absolute strictest standards that the law dictates in regard to assault, battery, and manslaughter, lest the power they wield corrupt them and all sorts of heinous crimes be dismissed simply because they felt scared or threatened at the time they committed them.

2009-08-14T23:23:00.000-04:00

From: townhall.com, 8/13/09

2009-08-14T22:37:00.002-04:00

This blog was supposed to be all happy, fluffy, family life stuff but unfortunately I just don't feel like writing about new paint colors, fresh vegetables, and family visits when government officials and employees at every level seem to be able to abuse their power and trample the constitution and its amendments with impunity.

At least once a week, I read of a new incident where a police officer abused his power and either shot, tasered, or in some way assaulted an unarmed civilian who more often than not was minding his own business and had no intention of harming the officer. The latest example involves a police officer tasering a mom while her two kids watched from their mini-van.

Honestly, this makes my blood boil. If you try to resist a police officer's assault, even verbally, then you get charged with assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest, etc. If you are armed and able to protect yourself then you're likely to wind up dead if not you just have to hunker down and take it, which is what you should do if you want to survive even if you can defend yourself. What in the world has happened to the police force, to make them so afraid of unarmed civilians that they think it necessary to taser, pepper spray, or assault unarmed people who question their charges or directives. I'm sure that not all officers are like this but if I can find one published example a week then there are way too many who are. Exactly how much are Americans going to take before we say enough is enough? A badge shouldn't grant someone immunity to do as they please.

It's time to question Anthropogenic Global Warming

2009-07-26T23:54:00.002-04:00

Over 30,000 U.S. scientists do. If nothing else, do a little research on the medieval warm period It provides compelling evidence that the case for man induced global warming is greatly over-exaggerated.

In Honor of Independence Day

2009-07-04T23:09:00.004-04:00

An excerpt from George Washington's farewell address, 1796.

As a very important source of strength and security, cherish public credit. One method of preserving it is to use it as sparingly as possible, avoiding occasions of expense by cultivating peace, but remembering also that timely disbursements to prepare for danger frequently prevent much greater disbursements to repel it, avoiding likewise the accumulation of debt, not only by shunning occasions of expense, but by vigorous exertion in time of peace to discharge the debts which unavoidable wars may have occasioned, not ungenerously throwing upon posterity the burden which we ourselves ought to bear. The execution of these maxims belongs to your representatives, but it is necessary that public opinion should co-operate. To facilitate to them the performance of their duty, it is essential that you should practically bear in mind that towards the payment of debts there must be revenue; that to have revenue there must be taxes; that no taxes can be devised which are not more or less inconvenient and unpleasant; that the intrinsic embarrassment, inseparable from the selection of the proper objects (which is always a choice of difficulties), ought to be a decisive motive for a candid construction of the conduct of the government in making it, and for a spirit of acquiescence in the measures for obtaining revenue, which the public exigencies may at any time dictate.

Observe good faith and justice towards all nations; cultivate peace and harmony with all. Religion and morality enjoin this conduct; and can it be, that good policy does not equally enjoin it - It will be worthy of a free, enlightened, and at no distant period, a great nation, to give to mankind the magnanimous and too novel example of a people always guided by an exalted justice and benevolence. Who can doubt that, in the course of time and things, the fruits of such a plan would richly repay any temporary advantages which might be lost by a steady adherence to it ? Can it be that Providence has not connected the permanent felicity of a nation with its virtue ? The experiment, at least, is recommended by every sentiment which ennobles human nature. Alas! is it rendered impossible by its vices?

In the execution of such a plan, nothing is more essential than that permanent, inveterate antipathies against particular nations, and passionate attachments for others, should be excluded; and that, in place of them, just and amicable feelings towards all should be cultivated. The nation which indulges towards another a habitual hatred or a habitual fondness is in some degree a slave. It is a slave to its animosity or to its affection, either of which is sufficient to lead it astray from its duty and its interest. Antipathy in one nation against another disposes each more readily to offer insult and injury, to lay hold of slight causes of umbrage, and to be haughty and intractable, when accidental or trifling occasions of dispute occur. Hence, frequent collisions, obstinate, envenomed, and bloody contests. The nation, prompted by ill-will and resentment, sometimes impels to war the government, contrary to the best calculations of policy. The government sometimes participates in the national propensity, and adopts through passion what reason would reject; at other times it makes the animosity of the nation subservient to projects of hostility instigated by pride, ambition, and other sinister and pernicious motives. The peace often, sometimes perhaps the liberty, of nations, has been the victim.

So likewise, a passionate attachment of one nation for another produces a variety of evils. Sympathy for the favorite nation, facilitating the illusion of an imaginary common interest in cases where no real common interest exists, and infusing into one the enmities of the other, betrays the former into a participation in the quarrels and wars of the latter without adequate inducement or justification. It leads also to concessions to the favorite nation of privileges denied to others which is apt doubly to injure the nation making the concessions; by unnecessarily parting with what ought to have been retained, and by exciting jealousy, ill-will, and a disposition to retaliate, in the parties from whom equal privileges are withheld. And it gives to ambitious, corrupted, or deluded citizens (who devote themselves to the favorite nation), facility to betray or sacrifice the interests of their own country, without odium, sometimes even with popularity; gilding, with the appearances of a virtuous sense of obligation, a commendable deference for public opinion, or a laudable zeal for public good, the base or foolish compliances of ambition, corruption, or infatuation.

As avenues to foreign influence in innumerable ways, such attachments are particularly alarming to the truly enlightened and independent patriot. How many opportunities do they afford to tamper with domestic factions, to practice the arts of seduction, to mislead public opinion, to influence or awe the public councils. Such an attachment of a small or weak towards a great and powerful nation dooms the former to be the satellite of the latter.

Against the insidious wiles of foreign influence (I conjure you to believe me, fellow-citizens) the jealousy of a free people ought to be constantly awake, since history and experience prove that foreign influence is one of the most baneful foes of republican government. But that jealousy to be useful must be impartial; else it becomes the instrument of the very influence to be avoided, instead of a defense against it. Excessive partiality for one foreign nation and excessive dislike of another cause those whom they actuate to see danger only on one side, and serve to veil and even second the arts of influence on the other. Real patriots who may resist the intrigues of the favorite are liable to become suspected and odious, while its tools and dupes usurp the applause and confidence of the people, to surrender their interests.

The great rule of conduct for us in regard to foreign nations is in extending our commercial relations, to have with them as little political connection as possible. So far as we have already formed engagements, let them be fulfilled with perfect good faith. Here let us stop. Europe has a set of primary interests which to us have none; or a very remote relation. Hence she must be engaged in frequent controversies, the causes of which are essentially foreign to our concerns. Hence, therefore, it must be unwise in us to implicate ourselves by artificial ties in the ordinary vicissitudes of her politics, or the ordinary combinations and collisions of her friendships or enmities.

Our detached and distant situation invites and enables us to pursue a different course. If we remain one people under an efficient government. the period is not far off when we may defy material injury from external annoyance; when we may take such an attitude as will cause the neutrality we may at any time resolve upon to be scrupulously respected; when belligerent nations, under the impossibility of making acquisitions upon us, will not lightly hazard the giving us provocation; when we may choose peace or war, as our interest, guided by justice, shall counsel.

Why forego the advantages of so peculiar a situation? Why quit our own to stand upon foreign ground? Why, by interweaving our destiny with that of any part of Europe, entangle our peace and prosperity in the toils of European ambition, rivalship, interest, humor or caprice?

It is our true policy to steer clear of permanent alliances with any portion of the foreign world; so far, I mean, as we are now at liberty to do it; for let me not be understood as capable of patronizing infidelity to existing engagements. I hold the maxim no less applicable to public than to private affairs, that honesty is always the best policy. I repeat it, therefore, let those engagements be observed in their genuine sense. But, in my opinion, it is unnecessary and would be unwise to extend them.

Taking care always to keep ourselves by suitable establishments on a respectable defensive posture, we may safely trust to temporary alliances for extraordinary emergencies.

Harmony, liberal intercourse with all nations, are recommended by policy, humanity, and interest. But even our commercial policy should hold an equal and impartial hand; neither seeking nor granting exclusive favors or preferences; consulting the natural course of things; diffusing and diversifying by gentle means the streams of commerce, but forcing nothing; establishing (with powers so disposed, in order to give trade a stable course, to define the rights of our merchants, and to enable the government to support them) conventional rules of intercourse, the best that present circumstances and mutual opinion will permit, but temporary, and liable to be from time to time abandoned or varied, as experience and circumstances shall dictate; constantly keeping in view that it is folly in one nation to look for disinterested favors from another; that it must pay with a portion of its independence for whatever it may accept under that character; that, by such acceptance, it may place itself in the condition of having given equivalents for nominal favors, and yet of being reproached with ingratitude for not giving more. There can be no greater error than to expect or calculate upon real favors from nation to nation. It is an illusion, which experience must cure, which a just pride ought to discard.

In offering to you, my countrymen, these counsels of an old and affectionate friend, I dare not hope they will make the strong and lasting impression I could wish; that they will control the usual current of the passions, or prevent our nation from running the course which has hitherto marked the destiny of nations. But, if I may even flatter myself that they may be productive of some partial benefit, some occasional good; that they may now and then recur to moderate the fury of party spirit, to warn against the mischiefs of foreign intrigue, to guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism; this hope will be a full recompense for the solicitude for your welfare, by which they have been dictated.

The Unexpected

2009-04-08T11:36:00.003-04:00

I started seeing a chiropractor in November because lugging a growing baby around was playing serious havoc with my back. There have been several occasions where I have been able to swallow normally after being adjusted. It lasts for about 24 hours. I am both surprised, happy, and just a more than a little frustrated because it doesn't always work, although my general health has improved dramatically. At this point neither the surgeon, the chiropractor, nor myself are exactly sure what the adjustments are effecting that allow my body to work properly. So we are looking at a Botox procedure instead of major surgery to allow my body some time to heal and see how much good the adjustments can do.

Reflections on Life

2009-02-03T14:04:00.004-05:00

I'll be the first one to admit that I was angry, bitter, and snappy in the last post toward a group of people who had no malicious intents (toward me, anyway). It's not nice, pretty, or godly and I'm not proud of it but that's life. Life tends to be messy and imperfect (at least mine does). If yours isn't then by all means stop reading and stay far away because chances are it will be if you hang around me, or most normal people, for any length of time.

Blogging while angry probably isn't the best idea. All the same it fixed the absolutely frustrating "Isn't our life Wonderful" vibe that my blog projects. Well no, actually it isn't. By which I mean that while it can be wonderful it isn't perfect and I'm not always striving to be a better Mom and Wife. There are days when I'm mad, frustrated, and just want to give up. There are days when I could care less that the floor needs to be scrubbed and there are a pile of dishes in the sink, when my husband infuriates me, and my daughter doesn't seem so adorable. Most of the time I just write about the good days or the days that transcend the endless cycle or dirt and scrubbing bubbles. I'm just not sure how to show a more balanced view of life without whining and complaining or running other people down.

Achalasia

2009-01-31T11:15:00.004-05:00

It's official. I went to see a general surgeon yesterday at Wake Forest University. By just looking at my x-rays from years ago he could tell that I had achalasia and said that a scope wasn't necessary to diagnose it. He didn't even see the new x-rays that are a lot worse. So to all of the people that kept insinuating that I had an eating disorder when I was trying with all my might to eat but couldn't keep food down: I hope all of you feel completely miserable and remorseful for destroying a young girls confidence and making my teenage years and young womanhood a living hell. Guess what? I wasn't lying. I wasn't in denial. You simply can't swallow if the bottom of your esophagus is closed. It wasn't my fault. There wasn't anything I could do about it. And trying to be normal and force things down so that people wouldn't talk has just distended my esophagus which isn't exactly the greatest thing in the world. Of course that means that I don't throw up much any more but it didn't really solve anything just injured my body more.

At this point I would like to thank my wonderful husband who has always believed and encouraged me for his wonderful support. I never thought that there would be a man who would want to live with this but somehow he fell in love with me and convinced me that I was desireable and beautiful in spite of everything. There aren't very many guys who would hold their girlfriend's hair back on a regular basis while she threw up on the side of the road but my man is one of them. I'm one lucky girl.

That works out to two babies a year...

2009-01-30T21:27:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to the family who just had octuplets! I don't mean to sound pessimistic but personally I think fourteen kids under the age of seven is a recipe for quickly becoming completely insane. That's right, I found out in an article on Yahoo! that she already has six kids. Actually I think the first six kids had probably already driven her a little crazy and affected her thinking skills or she wouldn't have been at a fertility clinic. Who in their right mind would be there if they already had six crazy little munchkins under the age of seven? Having had one kid myself, I have an enormous amount of respect for a woman who could put her body through all of that. I think it's terrific that she decided to keep all of them and I wish the whole family all the best. I'm just glad it's not me and that things like that don't happen to humans naturally!

They've really gone too far

2009-01-07T13:07:00.004-05:00

I offer this article from the Los Angeles Times which describes the economic impact of a new federal law prohibiting the sale of used children's clothes which have not been tested for lead and phthalates as proof that the government we elected is not only overly intrusive but also incredibly stupid. Unfortunately we have no one to blame but ourselves which leads me to believe that the majority of my fellow Americans are either incredibly naive or just plain stupid when it comes to electing people to public office.

There is absolutely no way that a chic outfit from The Children's Place or Baby Gap which originally cost an exhorbitant amount is any more likely to contain lead when I purchase it for a couple of bucks at a yard sale or used clothing store than when it was hanging on the rack in the mall. At the few stores which sell used children's clothing that are not driven out of business by this new law, the cost of clothing will increase significantly. I suppose this makes selling children's clothing at yard sales illegal too, although the article does not address the matter. So I guess I'll be making the used clothing rounds before February 10th, picking up adorable clothes I could never afford new for Ariana for next year because, well, although it is affordable sometimes Walmart leaves a little to be desired.

Our Holidays

2008-12-30T13:17:00.003-05:00

The week before Thanksgiving we celebrated the holidays with my Mom's side of the family in Bedford, IN. Then we spent Thanksgiving with the Hamilton's in Charlotte, NC. For Christmas we flew out early to Kansas and celebrated Matt's Mom's graduation. Then we spent the rest of the time with his Dad's side of the family and took a couple of days to see my Aunts on my Dad's side of the family. Everyone really enjoyed getting to see Ariana. Unfortunately she got a cold and fever and then passed it on to me so I was sick for most of the trip. We flew back home this past Sunday and are thrilled to be here.

Crumbs

2008-12-05T19:14:00.002-05:00

This is pretty much what it has looked like at our house lately. Ariana absolutely loves any type of cracker. It is her snack of choice and by the time she finishes we could feed an entire family of mice for a year.

I'm Thankful that...

2008-12-04T23:14:00.002-05:00

...my car has started perfectly for the last three days. I practically turned pentecostal when the anti-theft system didn't mess up and make me wait ten minutes for it to start every time I turned it on. I serve an amazing God who takes care of absolutely everything right down to the ordinary mundane conveniences that I too often take for granted. I'm so glad that he took care of us and I didn't have to sit out in the cold with Ariana.

Getting Up Again

2008-12-04T22:30:00.003-05:00

I really like Peter. He was so real, so honest, so down to earth, so brash, so bold. Where others hung back he plunged in. He lived from his heart and thought about it later. That takes a lot of guts. It's not a safe way to live. It sets you up to fail in front of everybody on a grand scale. Which he did. But he always dove right back in again.

It gives me hope. So often I get glimpses of the truths that God is trying to teach me and then I lose my focus and mess everything up. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was gushing about how amazing it is to realize that I need to do every little thing for God. It was revolutionary. It changed my perspective on all the mundane chores that I hate. It gave life an amazing purpose and zest. But then I lost my focus and ended up depressed and in the dumps again frustrated with myself because I didn't want to do the day to day drudgery that keeps a house running smoothly and because I wasn't doing a good job at it and I felt that I ought to want to do it just because I have a wonderful husband and kid. Today, God nudged me and I realized where I had gone wrong: I was focusing on everything and everybody but Him...again. I was working grudgingly for all of the wrong reasons.

Just when I sort of smugly thought I was beginning to soar along in the Christian life I discovered I was face down in a mud puddle. I'm glad that God is always there lavishing me with unending, undeserved grace just like He did Peter, helping me back to my feet and pointing me back to Himself. Like Peter I often think I'M going to do something wonderful and great for God, or I've discovered some great truth from the Bible, but after I've fallen on my face, I remember that I can't do anything at all on my own, every truth is revealed by God and only He can live them through me. How humbling it is to realize that I can't do anything on my own, no not even fold a single towel or wash a dirty dish.

Critters

2008-11-26T13:21:00.006-05:00

This morning I was fixing breakfast for Ariana and myself. She was sitting in her highchair patiently waiting for me to finish cooking her cereal. I turned around and saw her craning her neck and staring intently at the floor. I walked over to get a better view of whatever had caught her attention and there was one of those horrible huge spotted cricket-like things that I hate. She looked up with big serious eyes and said "oh, no," which was really cute and funny. I guess it's an inborn female response to all things buggy. I got the thing outside, which I much prefer to squishing it and then having to clean it up or to trying to squish it and missing and having it jump on me (which is more likely). Bugs just have no sense of personal space (but that's another subject altogether). After I came back inside she was still looking for it. I explained that the bug had gone bye-bye which seemed very satisfactory to her. She waved goodbye to the now invisible bug and then settled down to eating her breakfast.

I haven't been so thankful...

2008-11-26T11:07:00.002-05:00

For the past month I've been posting things that I am thankful for on this blog. The more I posted, the more things I found for which I was thankful. In fact the posts don't even begin to scratch the surface. But there are just so many things that aren't particularly nice and wonderful for which I haven't been thankful. They have been gathering like a dark rain cloud in the back of my mind for the past week or so. My philosophy was that as long as I could be thankful in them, if not for them, then I was okay. But today as I was washing dishes (which I do not enjoy doing at all) it suddenly occurred to me that a sinkful of dirty dishes means that my cabinets are full of all kinds of dishes and pots and pans and it means that we ate a good dinner, and that means I was cooking which I absolutely enjoy. Suddenly I began to view everything differently. The clothes on the floor reminded me how insanely blessed I am to have a multitude of beautiful warm things to wear. The crud that needs to be scrubbed away in the bathroom is just a reminded of how lucky I am to have indoor plumbing (after all I didn't get to choose which century I was born in). I had been feeling so sorry for myself, so drug down by the day in and day out drudgery or housework that just has to be repeated (complicated by what seems like textbook symptoms of post-partum depression) but suddenly I was thankful and very glad for it. What if I had no dishes to wash, no floor to scrub, no nice porcelain sink and toilet, no extra clothes to wash and iron? What if I lived like millions of people in the world today and billions that have lived before them? What if I lived in a hut with a dirt floor and barely enough food to stay alive? I'm beginning to realize that I am blessed with so much stuff that it is becoming a curse. I fall over it, spend my time arranging, organizing, and caring for it but often have really ceased to be thankful for or enjoy it.

I'm Thankful that...

2008-11-25T05:00:00.000-05:00

...I married a romantic, spontaneous man.

I'm Thankful that...

2008-11-24T08:48:00.000-05:00

...we had a safe drive to Indiana and back over the weekend.

I'm Thankful that...

2008-11-20T02:41:00.001-05:00

...I don't have to wash our clothes by hand or lug them to a laundromat.

I'm Thankful that...

2008-11-19T11:12:00.003-05:00

...Ariana is over the flu, that she is finally attached enough to her teddy bear that I didn't have to run out in the cold to fish her bunny out of the dryer so she could fall asleep, and that I still have blooms opening on my roses even though it has been below freezing.

I'm Thankful that...

2008-11-18T05:01:00.000-05:00

...no matter what new thing I try, I can always count on my husband to be my biggest cheerleader and fan.

At Krogers

2008-11-18T05:00:00.004-05:00

Lady behind the deli counter: May I help you?
Me: In just a moment. [staring intently at price list of cured Italian meats] I'd like six ounces of prosciutto.
Lady: I'm sorry we don't do ounces here, just pounds. You know like a 1/2 of a pound, a 1/4 of a pound. So you think about a half of a pound?
Me: [flabbergasted that she doesn't understand the concept of ounces being fractions of pounds] umm...[wondering if she can handle the concept of 3/8 of a pound]...no, I think more like a 1/4 of a pound. I'd like it sliced thick so that I can chop it up, instead of in really thin slices.
Lady: How thick?
Me: About like this [holding fingers about a 1/8 of an inch apart]
Lady: [slices off two nice thick slices and weighs them] It's about 1/3 of a pound. Is that okay?
Me: That's perfect [resisting telling her that it's closer to my original request than either a 1/4 or 1/2 of a pound]

Why I Love My Tiny House (part 3)

2008-11-17T09:08:00.004-05:00

The third thing I love about our home is it's location. We live in a quiet little town that doesn't even have a stoplight. The post office, park, and a little locally owned grocery store are all within easy walking distance. But best of all, we have great neighbors. My dearest friend lives just across the road. I love being able to run over and spend a few minutes or the afternoon chatting and letting our babies play together. Right now I wouldn't move if I could (not even to a house with a great big bathtub to soak in); I would much rather be right here, just a stone's throw (well about fifty if I'm the one doing the throwing) from a great friend who is constantly empathizing, encouraging, and just being there for me.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-17T08:21:00.003-05:00

...the delicious buttermilk pancakes and scrambled eggs that my husband fixed for me this morning before he left for the week on business. It's the countless little things like that which make me sure I married a keeper I don't deserve :-).

Our Hamster, Butterscotch

2008-11-16T21:41:00.003-05:00

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-16T21:21:00.001-05:00

...a husband who has so much fun playing with our daughter.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-15T10:34:00.002-05:00

...the incredible variety and volume of adjectives in our language (even if I do tend to overuse them).

Too much musing on the weather

2008-11-15T10:08:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was the perfect embodiment of November. The gray sky hung low over the muted trees with their leaves half fallen like the stray locks of an unkempt woman. The light sometimes grew stronger but never broke free of the blanket of clouds, heavy with pent up rain. It was cool but not biting. A mellow day without passion or edge.

Today's wash of gentle sunrise gave way to torrents of gray rain combing the leaves from the trees, leaving them in sodden masses beneath crooked misshapen limbs. November is half gone, with it's dreary mellowness and soaking rains, alternating like the antics of a fading woman who refuses to acknowledge that the vibrant beauty of youth is behind her.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-14T10:18:00.006-05:00

... a warm, cozy house.

Roasted Garlic

2008-11-14T10:18:00.005-05:00

With a cold hanging around like a guest who just doesn't know when to go home, I haven't done a lot this week. The one new thing that I did learn to do, is roast garlic. I've been avoiding recipes that called for roasted vegetables, because that extra step seemed like so much extra work. Now I feel extremely silly. What could be easier? Set a bulb of garlic on a pan in the oven for about 30 minutes at 375 degrees et voila: roasted garlic. Then you just smush the softened cloves out of their papery wrappings into whatever dish you want to use them in. Dousing the garlic bulb in olive oil and wrapping it up in foil with a few sprigs of fresh thyme also produces extremely nice results. Now I can't wait to see what other vegetables I can roast.

Fall: things I love

2008-11-13T13:17:00.004-05:00

Bright leaves shimmering in the crisp fall air
Electric blue skies
Stew simmering all day on the back of the stove
Buying new supplies for school
Pumpkins, squash, and other fall vegetables
Watching the Thanksgiving day parade
Turkey and Cranberry sauce
Pumpkin pie with lots of whipped cream
Planning for Christmas
Chili with crackers and sticks of cheese on cold dark nights
Decorating for Thanksgiving with pumpkins and things
Indian Corn
Hot cornbread with soup
Apple pie just out of the oven
Roasting marshmallows around a bonfire

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-13T11:22:00.001-05:00

...my husband's incredible patience with me.

Where Will it End?

2008-11-12T11:25:00.005-05:00

It's a fact. The majority of Americans who were eligible and chose to vote, voted for a candidate who supports abortion. They didn't support just any "pro-choice" candidate but one who refused to support a legislative act which would have protected babies who survived the horrible attempts on their life and were born alive, a candidate who supports partial birth abortion (which is just like it sounds, allow a baby to be partially born and brutally kill it). Based on their choice for President, it would seem that the majority of Americans believe that life is not an inalienable right but is based on the whim and convenience of both the individual and the masses.

This holocaust will not stop with murdering helpless babies in the womb. Indeed it has not. If a baby is aborted and survives, it can be left to die. We have started down a dangerous path where a person's right to life is determined by those on whom they depend for care, those who are stronger, and perceived as more intelligent. If you think it is acceptable to leave an infant who is capable of surviving to die, then you have destroyed any basis for defending the right to life of those incapable of defending themselves. Be prepared to see the rights of unwanted infants and children, the physically and mentally retarded, the old, and the infirm eroded and destroyed. Be prepared for a brutal and whole scale slaughter in the name of compassion and convenience that will eclipse the millions of babies this nation has already killed.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-12T10:28:00.001-05:00

...very, very long, hot, steamy showers.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-11T10:08:00.002-05:00

...luxuriously pampering back massages.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-10T22:28:00.000-05:00

...comments on my blog (hurray!) even if they are on pictures of my adorable daughter and not my writing, after all getting her here was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

Keeping God's House

2008-11-10T08:25:00.008-05:00

Occasionally, God comes along and shows me something that ought to have been so obvious that I sit there in complete awe of my stupidity. I am sure that the fact that it only occurs occasionally is the result of my not paying attention to what he is trying to teach me instead of my only being occasionally dumb and hard-headed.

As I spent a lot of last week neglecting my house and things I needed to do while moping because my darling husband was out of town, it began to gradually dawn on me that I was supposed to be doing everything primarily for God, not for any person, not even my husband. Now that is a revolutionary concept: doing every little thing I do, for God, whether or not anyone else is around, living every minute for Him.

I have a tendency to ignore things I don't want to do (like making phone calls and doctor's appointments), even when Matt is home, and just ignore things in general when he isn't home. I was reminded that I am not really running a household for Matt, I am keeping a home for God. And He really does care how I do it. He cares about all things that no one else does or takes for granted: cleaning the toilet, sweeping crackers off the floor, washing clothes. He is here every minute of every day right beside me even when no one else is. And the beautiful thing is that doing all of those things for Him can bring Him just as much glory and be just as important as anything written or accomplished by the greatest missionary or theologian.

He doesn't just see what I do like everyone else, he sees my motives and attitudes. Working for God, actually, allowing Him to work though me makes the most menial tasks meaningful. He is the only thing that will keep me steady and give me consistency. He is the only reason to do anything that I don't want to do when no one else is around. He is a reason that transcends, eclipses, and guides all others.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-09T06:59:00.000-05:00

...lots and lots of emails from my husband while he's away on business.

The Treadmill

2008-11-09T00:27:00.001-05:00

Sometimes a comic strip gets it just right. Even when I'm sick of housework I'm still glad that I don't miss out on anything.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-08T16:35:00.003-05:00

...cheesecake, baby fingers and toes, and telephone calls from my husband.

Socks

2008-11-08T12:12:00.001-05:00

Maybe I shouldn't blame my washing machine for all of those missing socks after all.

Race

2008-11-08T07:17:00.004-05:00

I don't think that electing a black president proves that we have overcome racial problems in this country. I don't think it is a great stride forward for this nation or black people in general. While it may reveal that the majority of eligible Americans who chose to vote had no problem electing a President with more melanin in his skin, and thus that as a country we have overcome some bases of prejudice and discrimination, it reveals a preoccupation with race which is just as sad and crippling as the former.

I am saddened that so many of my fellow Americans, especially those of African decent who, given their historical enslavement, ought to cherish freedom even more than the rest of us, would put so much stock in the color of a candidates skin and so little in the Constitutionality of his views and proposals. I have no problem voting for a black candidate. I will vote for any candidate who will uphold the Constitution, regardless of race or sex. I am a woman. There has never been a female president or vice-president in the United States. In both the primary and general election I had opportunities to vote for women and I chose not to. I would be ashamed to cast aside one iota of the liberty still left for which men pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor, and even gave their lives, for such a frivolous "triumph."

I do think that it will be a great triumph when and if this country becomes racially (and gender) blind, when Americans, especially black Americans who in general at times seem more preoccupied with being black than American, can ignore the color of a person's skin and evaluate them solely on their beliefs, actions, and depth of character.

More on Global Warming

2008-11-08T06:07:00.004-05:00

It appears that there are some scientific voices opposing the anthropogenic global warming theory, they just have trouble getting heard. Professor David Bellamy, at one time a well-known and respected scientist in the United Kingdom, proclaims the theory to be,"Poppycock."

Matt

2008-11-07T22:36:00.010-05:00

My best friend...

...the one person with whom I could share all of my hopes and dreams...

The man I fell madly in love with...

...and married...

...who makes every day brighter and my life incredibly richer for being in it,
whose patience, thoughtfulness, and tenderness make me fall in love
all over again, and again. I love you and I love being your wife.

The "Conservative" movement

2008-11-07T21:56:00.005-05:00

This article is a harsh though I believe mostly accurate assessment of the current conservative movement.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-07T21:54:00.002-05:00

...blue skies and Ariana's smile.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-06T11:29:00.001-05:00

...sunshine.

This Week

2008-11-05T22:54:00.004-05:00

Until today this week seemed like November--afternoons spent sipping hot tea and sewing at a friend's house while our babies played around our feet, leaves bold against the gray, misty skies, the air cold and full of drizzle. But today was lovely, full of sunshine and warm air. It would have been perfect to finish pulling the weeds in the flower beds if I hadn't been insanely busy with Ariana's birthday and other things. I had her picture taken in a white dress that puffs out like a cloud and then we came home and she dozed in the car while I fixed her birthday dinner and wrapped a couple of her gifts. Matt is out of town so we'll have the real celebration later when he is home but I wanted to make today special for her anyway. It was late and she was intensely happy with her birthday dinner and toys so I didn't try to ice the cake and light a candle. We ate one of the cupcakes tonight but we'll ice the cake and light a candle and eat it for real tomorrow. If it's nice we'll pull weeds in the flower beds and count how many pansies the deer managed to pull up and eat. If it isn't we'll stay inside and clean the house, read books, and I'll finish the flannel sheets I'm making for her bed and the little sleep bunting to keep her warm. Either way, I'll wonder where this past year has gone, how she could have grown so fast, and how I can savor every moment and make them linger instead of fleeing past.

My Angel Turned One Today

2008-11-05T21:50:00.003-05:00

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-05T11:28:00.001-05:00

...baby monitors.

I love our silly times together

2008-11-04T11:16:00.000-05:00

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-04T11:06:00.001-05:00

...notes from my Husband.

Change

2008-11-03T11:20:00.006-05:00

Most Americans don't really want change. They want more of the same. Obama doesn't represent change; he represents the fruition of a socialist agenda that has been steadily growing and engulfing our freedom since the New Deal. Listening to the radio, I heard Obama scoff at the idea of being a socialist as he addressed his supporters, saying light-heartedly among other things that his opponents had discovered he had shared his sandwhich when he was a kid. Sharing your own posessions and wealth isn't socialism but taking other people's and redistributing them is. He set up a straw man, which had nothing to do with socialism in order to distract people from the real facts. McCain is no better. He voted for the bailout too. He's just a pro-life socialist. Which I believe is better than a pro-abortion socialist, but he's a socialist none the less. He's more of the status quo. Obama's "change" is merely the status quo on an exponential dose of steroids.

If Americans really wanted change they would have voted for Ron Paul, and started directing this country back toward it's founding document before we crumble completly and mingle in the dust with Greece and Rome. If they really wanted change, the "Values Voters" would have looked past the fact that he opposed the constitutional amendment to protect the unborn and seen that he fundamentally agreed with them. He merely thought that the unborn should be protected through different means, and he wasn't willing to sacrifice his principles to gain right-wing support. A politician who doesn't spout the popular line to get votes: now that is change I can respect and believe in.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-03T06:42:00.001-05:00

...the lowest gas prices I've seen in a long time.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-02T06:43:00.000-05:00

the perfect little black dress.

I'm Thankful for...

2008-11-01T06:41:00.000-04:00

roses from my husband just because he thought I needed them.

Climate Change

2008-10-27T07:00:00.002-04:00

In The Year 1000: What Life was Like at the Turn of the First Millennium, An Englishman's World, Robert Lacey and Danny Danziger write:

The Normans' Domeday survey of 1086 listed no less than thirty-eight vineyards in England, with Ely marking the most northerly spot, seventy miles northeast of London. It was a warmer world. Archaeological evidence indicates that the years 950 to 1300 were marked by noticeably warmer temperatures than we experience today, even in the age of "global warming." Meteorologists describe this medieval warm epoch as the "Little Optimum," and they cite it as the explanation of such phenomena as the Viking explosion into Russia, France, Iceland, and the northwestern Atlantic.

The northerly retreat of icebergs and pack-ice under the impact of warmer temperatures is a plausible explanation of why Lief Eriksson was able to sail round the top of the Atlantic as far as Newfoundland in or about the year 1000, and why he found vines there. During the "Little Optimum," Edinburgh enjoyed the climate of London, While London enjoyed the climate of the Loire valley in France, a difference of 2 to 4 degrees Fahrenheit -- the equivalent in modern American terms of San Francisco's climate moving north to Seattle.

I find it very interesting that a thousand years ago, when mankind's technology could not possibly have affected the climate, the world went through a period of warming. Far from being the end of the world it may have actually made the weather in many areas more pleasant. Temperatures sank again on their own. Given this historical evidence it would seem that the earth's temperature is cyclical, or at least capable of large fluctuations that are not the result of green house gases or any other product of human origin. I have to wonder if Al Gore studied this phenomenon when he was working on his book and documentary, or did he find this bit of history simply too inconvenient.

Oh, the Irony

2008-10-21T11:36:00.005-04:00

I have heard wonderful things about the movie Fireproof and was looking forward to stealing my husband for a night at the theater by ourselves. Lately though I find myself resisting the idea as a result of the steady insistence of a certain person that I need to see it. I'm not too keen on viewing movies that someone hopes to use as a sermon with which to hit me over the head. It's hard to be gracious and open to veiled hints that you need to work on your marriage when the person giving them is one of the biggest problems in it.

The irony is that I have found my marriage renewed and feel as if I've just walked down the aisle again as a result of limiting my contact with this person, who used every opportunity to try to breed discontent with my husband and pity for myself. By allowing this person's attitude toward my husband to infiltrate and affect my feelings toward him, I was letting my marriage start to drift apart. No movie, no matter how wonderful, is a substitute for daily choosing to love one's spouse, seeing the best in them, believing the best of them, and it certainly is not going to counteract the damage of discontent and self pity which come from listening to the insidious whisperings of another person, who openly dislike your husband in the first place. So we might see it, and we might not. It really doesn't matter; the important thing is that my own marriage is stronger (and generally pure bliss).

Travel

2008-10-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

Another of my favorite Poems from A Child's Garden of Verses:

Travel

I should like to rise and go
Where the golden apples grow;--
Where below another sky
Parrot islands anchored lie,
And, watched by cockatoos and goats,
Lonely Crusoes building boats;--
Where in sunshine reaching out
Eastern cities, miles about,
Are with mosque and minaret
Among sandy gardens set,
And the rich goods from near and far
Hang for sale in the bazaar;--
Where the Great Wall round China goes,
And on one side the desert blows,
And with the voice and bell and drum,
Cities on the other hum;--
Where are forests hot as fire,
Wide as England, tall as a spire,
Full of apes and cocoa-nuts
And the negro hunters' huts;--
Where the knotty crocodile
Lies and blinks in the Nile,
And the red flamingo flies
Hunting fish before his eyes;--
Where in jungles near and far,
Man-devouring tigers are,
Lying close and giving ear
Lest the hunt be drawing near,
Or a comer-by be seen
Swinging in the palanquin;--
Where among the desert sands
Some deserted city stands,
All its children, sweep and prince,
Grown to manhood ages since,
Not a foot in street or house,
Not a stir of child or mouse,
And when kindly falls the night,
In all the town no spark of light.
There I'll come when I'm a man
With a camel caravan;
Light a fire in the gloom
Of some dusty dining-room;
See the pictures on the walls,
Heroes fights and festivals;
And in a corner find the toys
Of the old Egyptian boys.

--Robert Louis Stevenson

If any of the poems I read as a child ever captured my thoughts and dreams, I think this one did.
Inside I am still very much that same child, longing to see for myself the ancient, exotic,
enchanted places of the world.

A Child's Garden of Verses

2008-10-16T23:43:00.003-04:00

Today, I pulled my copy of A Child's Garden of Verses off the shelf and read to Ariana. I was
amazed to find that I could still recite this poem almost word for word after so many years. It
was always one of my favorites. I found myself getting choked up as I read. Even though I loved
the poems as I child they mean so much more now that they bring back good memories for me. Too bad
I can't remember the rest of the poetry I memorized while I ironed.


"Foreign Lands"
from A Child's Garden of Verses

Up into the cherry tree
Who should climb but little me?
I held the trunk with both my hands
And looked abroad in foreign lands.

I saw the next door garden lie,
Adorned with flowers, before my eye,
And many pleasant places more
That I had never seen before.

I saw the dimpling river pass
And be the sky's blue looking-glass;
The dusty roads go up and down
With people tramping in to town.

If I could find a higher tree
Farther and farther I should see,
To where the grown-up river slips
Into the sea among the ships,

To where the road on either hand
Lead onward into fairy land,
Where all the children dine at five,
And all the playthings come alive.

--Robert Louis Stevenson

The Red Wheelbarrow

2008-10-12T11:11:00.000-04:00

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

--William Carlos Williams

As with his poem, "This is Just to Say," I am amazed at the brilliant pictures that Williams paints with just a few words. The scene is so vivid and clear in my mind that I can almost touch it, feel the cool water on the metal and smell the damp earth from the rain.

Ariana Grace

2008-10-11T13:08:00.003-04:00

The greatest responsibility and inspiration I'll ever have.

This Is Just To Say

2008-10-11T11:01:00.001-04:00




I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast Forgive me they were delicious so sweet and so cold --William Carlos Williams

How to Write and Sell Your First Novel by Oscar Collier with Frances Spatz Leighton

2008-10-11T10:08:00.004-04:00

Collier and Leighton have written a superb general overview of how to write fiction and get it published, which is best appreciated by writers who have not yet written a complete novel or researched the submission and editing process.

The authors divide the book into two parts. "Part One: How to Write and Sell Your First Novel" focuses on the various types and aspects of the novel, the writing process, and the submission of a manuscript for publication. The main subjects they cover are the importance of plot and character and how both are developed through dialogue, practical steps to creating a riveting plot, dealing with inappropriate language and actions, choosing character names and titles, writing the novel, editing, securing an agent, submitting your work, and negotiating contracts. The authors support their advice with the titles of already published work, allowing the reader to peruse and dissect successful concrete examples of the various writing tips and theories they offer. Each chapter ends with a bullet point summary of the most important practical points in the chapter.

The second part: "How Twenty-three Novelists Broke Into Print" tells the stories of famous writers such as John Grisham and Stephen King along with less well known authors, most of whom did not work in the literary world before publication. Collier and Leighton discuss examples of authors almost everyone will recognize, authors who write from direct experience, collaborated with an expert, write for a specific genre, and new novelists. They conclude the book with a short and concise list of the most important things for fiction writers to do or avoid.

I thoroughly enjoyed the book and found it informative and helpful. Although, it's true worth can only be calculated by the number of people who have written and published a novel as a direct result of reading, absorbing, and following the advise it gives.

All I ask of You

2008-09-21T00:42:00.004-04:00

This topped my list of choices for wedding vocal music. It seemed appropriate to post with our two year anniversary fast approaching. So, for Matt, the man of my dreams, I give you...

All I Ask of You
By Andrew Lloyd Webber

Raoul:
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you - my words will warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you...

Christine:
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime...
Say you need me with you now and always...
Promise me that all you say is true -
that's all I ask of you...

Raoul:
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light.
You're safe:
No-one will find you -
your fears are far behind you...

Christine:
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night...
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me...

Raoul:
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
let me lead you from your solitude....
Say you need me with you here, beside you...
anywhere you go, let me go too -
Christine, that's all I ask of you...

Christine:
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...

Raoul & Christine:
Share each day with me,
each night,
each morning...

Christine:
Say you love me...

Raoul:
You know I do...

Raul & Christine:
Love me - that's all I ask of you...

Anywhere you go let me go too...
Love me - that's all I ask of you...

Phantom:
I gave you my music...
made your song take wing...
and now how you've repaid me:
denied me and betrayed me...
He was bound to love you when he heard you sing...

Christine...
Christine...

Raoul & Christine:
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...
Share each day with me, each night, each morning...

Phantom:
You will curse the day you did not do all that the Phantom asked of you...!

2008-09-21T00:25:00.004-04:00

I was perusing some poetry the other day and came across this gem. It was one of my favorites from college. Strangely and yet happily, I found I had outgrown it, that it was incongruous with my life. Thank you, my love, for giving me room to fly. I am forgetting why the caged bird sings.

Sympathy

by Paul Laurence Dunbar

I know what the caged bird feels.
Ah me, when the sun is bright on the upland slopes,
when the wind blows soft through the springing grass
and the river floats like a sheet of glass,
when the first bird sings and the first bud ops,
and the faint perfume from its chalice steals.
I know what the caged bird feels.

I know why the caged bird beats his wing
till its blood is red on the cruel bars,
for he must fly back to his perch and cling
when he fain would be on the bow aswing.
And the blood still throbs in the old, old scars
and they pulse again with a keener sting.
I know why he beats his wing.

I know why the caged bird sings.
Ah, me, when its wings are bruised and its bosom sore.
It beats its bars and would be free.
It's not a carol of joy or glee,
but a prayer that it sends from its heart's deep core,
a plea that upward to heaven it flings.
I know why the caged bird sings.

Editing

2008-09-20T23:27:00.005-04:00

Recently, I've been doing a little editing in my life. It's a lot like editing writing: laborious, difficult, tedius. There are all these friends and family. They swim in front of my eyes like words on a page in an essay. They all seem so important. I don't want to see any of them moved around or cut. Then I look at my thesis. The thesis of this essay is God. It has two points: my husband, Matt, is the first one. The second one is our daughter. There are other points but they're subordinate to the first two.

The words seem to support my thesis but one of them is really messing up the first supporting paragraph. I've been staring at this word for a long time. I really like it. I like it a lot. I don't want to move it around or cut it out. I'm comfortable right where it is but I realize that when I wrote this paragraph of marriage, I made it my most important point and the word is in the way. It's meaning subverts the lifelong argument I am trying to make. I agonize. Highlight. Click. Cut. If a word impairs my ability to make that first point, it just can't stay.

Words

2008-09-20T22:56:00.005-04:00

Words are such strange things. Sometimes they fall from someone's lips almost as soon as they are spoken. They lie unnoticed and forgotten, swept up with the trash on the floor. Other times they assume a life of their own, giving birth to new ideas, inspiring new minds, winging their way into eternity on other men's lips and in other men's minds. Then there are those insidious little words that poison. Like a parasite they wrap around a heart and soul eating away at all that is good, creeping silently from host to host, leaving bitterness and heartache in their wake.

Alexandria: City of the Western Mind by Theodore Vrettos

2008-09-16T22:00:00.006-04:00

In Alexandria, Theodore Vrettos unfolds the history of of the ancient city by revealing the lives of the people who formed and shaped it. He divides his work into five distinct parts beginning with the Birth of the City, which summarizes the life of Alexander the Great who laid out the plan for the city which would bear his name. The Mind of the City chronicles the many scientists and scholars who labored and studied in Alexandria and whose works made it's Great Library renowned around the world. The Power of the City reads more like a short biography of Cleopatra and her Roman lovers Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, culminating in the collapse of the Ptolemaic empire which her daring intrigues brought about. The Soul of the City examines the various philosophers, spiritual leaders, and religions whose beliefs shaped the lives of Alexandria's citizens and it's renowned architecture which has since crumbled into the bay. Vrettos' book culminates in the Death of the City which chronicles the ultimate fall of Alexandria to Muslim invaders and their destruction of its renowned library collection.

By focusing on the lives of individual people, Vrettos covers a vast span of time without growing boring or bogging down in dates and makes the book not only informative but also engaging. I was already familiar with most of the information in the chapters on the Birth and Power of the City. However, it was nice to read it in the context of a larger time frame. To have included any more detail would have been beyond the context of the book. Although the book is easy to read, Vrettos' straightforward treatment of the sexual proclivities of various historical characters and his exploration of various philosophical beliefs make this book a better choice for teens and adults instead of children.

From Anne of Avonlea

2008-09-16T12:32:00.004-04:00

"It seems to me, Anne, that you are never going to outgrow your fashion of setting your heart so on things and then crashing down into despair because you don't get them."

"I know I'm too much inclined that, way" agreed Anne ruefully. "When I think something nice is going to happen I seem to fly right up on the wings of anticipation; and then the first thing I realize I drop down to earth with a thud. But really, Marilla, the flying part is glorious as long as it lasts. . .it's like soaring through a sunset. I think it almost pays for the thud."

"Well, maybe it does," admitted Marilla. "I'd rather walk calmly along and do without both flying and thud."

--L. M. Montgomery

Organization

2008-09-16T10:26:00.006-04:00

I have come to the conclusion that if I am going to ever finish my degree, teach piano again, become a published author (If you must laugh, please don't let me know) or even be a decent wife and mother I am going to have to become more organized and disciplined. Otherwise the house operates on a yo-yo routine which consists of descending to and bouncing back from various levels of pig-pennishness to aspirations of house beautiful (which usually create a bigger mess) several times a week, depending on how sick I feel and what interesting projects I've dreamed up and jumped into. It's not exactly conducive to a tranquil and happy family life but it keeps me from getting bored.

There is a problem however, supposing I were somehow able to transform myself into an organized and disciplined creature (which makes the metamorphosis of a butterfly sound easy), would I still be me? Would anyone even recognize me? After all, I am the girl who, despite the fact that my sewing skills are very poor, decided to transform a strapless ballgown into an eighteenth century dress (think revolutionary war) in three days so I would have something to wear to the Jovial Beggar's costume ball (Thanks Mom for saving me on that one.), the church into a castle one year and a jungle the next for VBS (A big thanks to my entire family, Pastor Stickler's family, and Matt for their help bringing those visions alive), and just a couple of weeks ago our bedroom from plain beige with every drywall seam showing into a beautiful calm retreat by texturing the walls and painting them a soft periwinkle while Matt was out of town (not as easy as it sounds, especially with a baby). I may not think through everything before I jump in to it(if I did, I'd never do anything), but despite the trouble of having to rescue me occasionally (okay, frequently, for the amazing man who married me), my family (and possibly a few friends, maybe) have to admit that I keep their life exciting.

There is the possibility though that if I were to somehow, through God's grace, hard work, and sheer will power, become more disciplined and organized that I might be free to be even more myself. Just perhaps with a house that stayed clean and organized and some semblance of a schedule I might be free to jump into my little adventures and projects without creating disasters from which I always need to be rescued. Maybe I would have more time to really live life, instead of spinning my wheels. Maybe it would set me free to be all that I can be. Unfortunately it seems that all of this disciplined and organized stuff demands that I go sweep the floor and finish the dishes before Ariana wakes up.

Things I've Learned From Blogging (Part 2)

2008-09-15T21:13:00.002-04:00

Okay, no more posts beginning with the word "things" for a while. I promise. I've discovered that I am basically a chicken with an inbred desire to avoid not only confrontation but also disagreement with just about everyone.

At some point before I gave my blog address to all of my friends and relations, I had thought that this would be a superb place for me to gain some experience expressing my opinion on various topics in a logical and factual manner. I knew I would have to think through my arguments and express them well if they were to stand up to other people's scrutiny (I don't know exactly who I thought would read it, if I didn't share the address with my family) and I thought it would be good practice. If any of my friends who hung out at Panera on Tuesdays are reading this, they're probably laughing. I don't think I ever convinced anyone of anything no matter what the topic (that's probably why Jaired is a lawyer, not me :-).

Now every time I begin a meaningful post (eg. essay on the problem of indoctrinating home school students instead of training them to think critically) , I end up not publishing it because I know I'll step on someone's toes; half of the family will think I'm narrow minded and insensitive and the other half will think I haven't kept the faith. So I write nothing because even though I could write with abandon for the rest of the world, I'm scared what my family will think.

Things I've Learned From Blogging (Part 1)

2008-09-15T09:39:00.002-04:00

My writing is not so hot. I used to think I was a pretty decent writer; most of my professors thought so too. I'm not sure whether my writing has degenerated over the past couple of years or whether I had an inflated opinion of it which has finally been brought down to earth but I realized quite suddenly the other day that my writing is pitiful. It conveys ineffectively the ideas and scenes in my head. It is often a tired old copy of someone else's ideas, borrowing tone and vocabulary from my current reading. All the worse now because I rarely set aside time to read truly great writing.

Improving my writing, especially my ability to write well without extensive editing, is one of the reasons I started blogging. So, you never know, if I keep at it, maybe it will help.

Random Things a Girl Can't Help But Love

2008-09-13T21:48:00.003-04:00

Roses for no other reason than someone thinks she's wonderful
Pictures that make her think she's beautiful
Shoes that look like a million bucks and feel comfortable
Chocolate for any reason
Any piece of clothing that can make her feel cute and confident when she's carrying around a spitting baby
Breakfast made by her husband
An unexpected night out to somewhere romantic
A good book that ends happily without being sappy or predictable
The perfect shade of lipstick

Things I Love About my Husband's Mom

2008-09-12T15:48:00.005-04:00

1. I know she prays for me
2. She doesn't give unsolicited advice
3. She isn't perfect
4. She doesn't pretend that she's perfect
5. She's a fellow bookworm
6. She loves stationary and journals as much as I do
7. She sends great packages
8. She has incredible resilience and determination
9. She understands what it's like to be a messie
10. She isn't afraid to admit her mistakes

Little Hands

2008-09-12T08:40:00.000-04:00

On the Anniversary of 9/11

2008-09-11T22:38:00.001-04:00

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. --Benjamin Franklin

Today

2008-09-11T10:45:00.002-04:00

There is a hint of chill in the softness of the rain. It reaches out from the grayness of mist and sky and awakens my thoughts. It beckons equally to a cup of tea and a book and a long walk wandering among hills and trees. It is the sort of day that calls you to come out as long as you can come inside and get toasty again.

Little Angel

2008-09-07T21:29:00.003-04:00

Roses in the Rain

2008-08-28T21:02:00.000-04:00

Somehow they smell even better when they are damp

Home again, home again

2008-06-23T10:13:00.005-04:00

Ariana and I have returned from the Grand Tour. We visited the Markham Grandparents, Matt's Mom, Grandmother Emanuel, Aunt Marge, Cousin Susie and her gang, the Barrick/Chaffin reunion in Oklahoma, my parents, and met my Mom's side of the family in St. Louis. We had a great time and it was nice to see everyone but anyone else who would like to meet my little starlet will have to come and see us (after I get the laundry caught up and the house baby proofed).

Yesterday, we welcomed a new member into our family. Butterscotch is an adorable long-haired hamster who is the color of her name swirled with a little vanilla. Unfortunately, Toffee and Oreo (aka Thing One and Thing Two), having lived long hamster lives, passed away about a month ago.

The Aftermath

2008-05-30T10:33:00.002-04:00

Vacation: Marco Island

2008-05-30T09:51:00.005-04:00

Thursday evening, after a rather boring ride through the everglades, we arrived in Marco Island and checked into the Hilton Beach Resort. The island is mostly residential. There are a few restaurants and shops but overall it is very laid back and quiet. We ordered Chinese so that we wouldn't have to go out and Ariana could wiggle while we ate and enjoyed the view of the gulf from out balcony.

Friday we hung out and enjoyed the beach. The beach looks like white sand but when you walk out on it most of it is actually sea shells. I've never seen so many shells at a beach before. Ariana loves water but was a little nervous about the waves even though I was holding her while we walked along the shore. She fell asleep in my arms and we let her doze under the beach umbrella while we talked and enjoyed the view. For dinner we found this great Italian place that had a lot of kids. Since she has started pitching fits when we go out to eat, usually just about the time the food comes, it was nice to be someplace noisy enough that we didn't have to keep her perfectly quiet. The food was delicious too.

On Saturday we went on a cruise out to an uninhabited island. We saw some dolphins and picked up shells. It was a lot of fun. Ariana decided that the ocean was okay after all and even got down in the sand while the waves lapped against her toes. This proved to be a little labor intensive as six month olds don't understand that you shouldn't put sandy hands in your mouth or eyes so we all went to the pool where she fell asleep and dozed on a lounge chair after playing in the water while we floated in the pool watching her. Saturday night we went to a great seafood place right on the water called Snooks Inn. It had a laid back atmosphere which was perfect for eating with Ariana and they seated us next to a fish tank which postponed her fit for quite a while as she watched the fish swim back and forth.

Sunday we headed home, taking a different route across the everglades which was slightly more interesting than the one we took west. Indian villages and airboat tours were a dime a dozen. There was even a sign that said panther crossing next five miles. Much to my disappointment no large cats decided to bound across the road. I thought would be rather exciting and make a great picture. You couldn't have paid me to get out of the car for the next hour though. The flight home was okay although Ariana was rather cranky the last hop from Charlotte to Roanoke. We enjoyed relaxing together in Florida but are definitely thrilled to be home.

Cutie Pie

2008-05-29T09:53:00.000-04:00

Vacation: Miami

2008-05-27T10:24:00.007-04:00

The Sunday before last we all flew down to Miami. Flying with a baby was surprisingly smooth, aided immensely by the first class seat Matt was able to score for me. We spent the first part of the week at the Doral Golf Resort and Spa while Matt attended the IEEE conference. Sunday evening, we all went to Vizcaya, a huge old mansion with expansive tropical gardens right on the water, for a dinner thrown by GE and several other companies. Unfortunately, I forgot the camera. We entered the massive limestone mansion and wound our way to the back terrace where white clothed tables were topped with shimmering cloth that glimmered a beautiful gold and deep apricot and orchids spilled lavishly out of green coconuts. Silver and china glimmered in the fading light. Steps descended to a second terrace right on the water. A huge stone barge adorned with weathered statues lay just out of reach and the terrace curved into a walkway on either side like arms reaching to the sea. The limestone was weathered; the terrace and balustrade and garden walls looked like coral. It was as if a castle had been built by sea nymphs and the sea had washed away long ago. The buffet of hors d'oeuvres was fabulous. Ariana behaved wonderfully and entertained a whole table of grandparents. The live Salsa band ensured that no one heard her when she did fuss a little and the gardens and outdoor setting allowed me to wander off with her when I needed. I even met a family from Belgium and was able to practice my very rusty French.

On Monday Ariana and I ate breakfast at the Embassy Suites. The staff was terrific, they even carried my tray upstairs so I could eat in my room while she played on the floor. Then I took her out for her first time in the pool which she loved. Matt came and ate lunch with us while it poured cats and dogs and then took us to our room at the Doral. We hung out and did a bit of shopping. Monday evening Matt and I went to a private banquet hosted by one of Titan's equipment suppliers. The hotel recommended a nanny agency. I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave Ariana with someone or not but I called the anyway and the woman who answered the phone was so friendly and professional that we decided to go ahead and hire a sitter. They sent Aida, the most wonderful grandmother who does a lot of sitting at the resort and specifically asked to watch Ariana because she loves babies. She was great. I came back and nursed Ariana halfway through dinner because I hadn't timed her feedings very well. She was getting more soothing and playing than I would have given her.

Tuesday, we spent at the Seaquarium. Ariana loved the aquarium where she could watch the fish swimming back and forth. As for the other exhibits, if the animal wasn't right in front of the glass she was just as interested in the handrails. She was adorable riding around in the stroller, her little chin pink from strawberry jello. During the second Dolphin show she snuggled up and fell asleep. Ah bliss, to be out with my baby enjoying myself. Tuesday night, I took her to the pool and we met Shannon Edwards, a Mom from just south of Kansas City who had two toddlers and one on the way. I absolutely loved the zero entry pool. Ariana could sit by herself or on my lap and splash in just inches of water. It was perfect.

On Wednesday, we stayed at the resort and went swimming. Ariana and I met Shannon and her kids and then ate lunch by the pool. Matt met us in the afternoon and we all played together until Ariana grew tired and then I nursed her and she slept in her stroller in our poolside tent where we could watch her as we floated in the water. Ariana spent a couple of hours swimming and going for a walk with the Edwards while we attended the final banquet. It was just as delicious as Shannon said it would be (this was her fifth or sixth year)although someone turned up the speaker system way too loud. It's hard to enjoy a good band when your ears are ringing. We've agreed to swap nights sitting next year so that we can attend dinners with our spouses.

Thursday, the guys were off touring the cement plant and they weren't supposed to be back until the middle of the afternoon so Shannon and I took off for the zoo with the kids. Matt had rented this nifty GPS thing so that I could drive around Miami without getting lost, which was terriffic. It was noon before we got there and the guys got done early so they ended up waiting on us. It was total insanity. It was so hot out. By the time we loaded up the kids to go home we weren't sure what posessed us to even think about leaving the pool but we had a great time. Her kids loved the animals and Ariana cruised around in her stroller taking in everything. We did lunch and found an elephant: the one thing that Alastaire her 3 year old really wanted to see. Thursday afternoon we picked up Matt and headed west to Marco Island for some relaxation time that included all of us.

Sweet Pea

2008-05-15T14:16:00.003-04:00

First Flight

2008-05-14T14:20:00.003-04:00

Ariana and I just returned home from a visit to surprise my Mom for Mother's Day. She was as surprised and happy as it is possible to be. We had a great time. Ariana enjoyed all of the attention although she found it a bit overwhelming at times. I had a great time hanging out with my family and enjoyed the extra help with Ariana.

Ariana is growing like a weed. She weighs 17 lbs. 13 oz. and is 28" long. She can sit up alone and enjoys rocking on all fours. She has finally figured out how to go from all fours to sitting and back again so I make a lot less trips to her blanket trying to figure out how she wants to be so she'll stop whimpering. Her two front bottom teeth came through this past week.

She was a great traveler. The only time she fussed at all on our flight out was on the descent because her ears hurt. She smiled at and thoroughly charmed all of her fellow passengers. The first leg of our flight home was a little rough. Considering that one of her ears is a little infected, she was great. I couldn't get her to stop screaming when we got on the plane but once we took off she settled down for most of the rest of the flight and slept like an angel on the second leg.

This week we are cleaning the house, planting and weeding the garden, and running errands so that we can leave on Sunday for Florida with Matt.

Random Day in Our Life

2008-04-30T21:19:00.004-04:00

12:00 AM After trying to go to sleep at 10 pm, feeding Ariana at 11 pm, and then not being able to sleep even though I'm exhausted, I get up and watch a movie. Surely I'll fall asleep. Nothin' doin'.
1:00 AM Ariana wakes up and I nurse her. She won't settle down so I put her in bed with me. She quiets down but keeps migrating toward me. Her adorable little feet won't stop kicking. I don't remember falling asleep but I must have.
4:30 AM Ariana is up and hungry again. I nurse her and put her in her bed. She quiets down for a little while but doesn't fall asleep. I try to dose but she's not happy.
5:50 AM I give up. Surely a car ride will put her to sleep. She loves to go by-by so it will keep her happy anyway. We load up to go to Wal-Mart. It's frosty outside. The first I've noticed in a month or so.
6:00 AM I pull through the Sonic drive through and order the biggest latte they serve. Ariana's big eyes stare at me in the mirror.
6:05 We look at some things in the home furnishing department at Wal-Mart and then buy groceries. I look in the Hispanic section for the chilies I need to make tamales this weekend. I can't remember which kind I need so I buy both. Ariana is absolutely adorable, the sun is shining, the store is clean, stocked, and crowd free. We should go shopping early in in the morning more often. I forget, for the third time, to buy the peanut butter I need to keep Oreo the hamster occupied so I can clip her nails.
7:30 AM We arrive home. I bring in Ariana, the groceries, and my keys (I had to call the Sherriff's department yesterday to get them out of the car because I left them in the diaper bag on Sunday after Church and then forgot to bring it in. Of course I didn't discover this until Matt was in Kentucky. She's hungry so I nurse her and let her play for a bit. I dust the living room. Whole civilizations of dust mites are swept away on my cloth.
8:30 AM Ariana finally goes to sleep. I fix myself a piece of toast and a cheese omelet which gets crisp around the edges when I forget about it while I quickly check and delete my email.
9:30 AM Ariana wakes up. She's fussy so I pack her up in her peanut shell and we head across the street to check on the garden we have planted at our neighbor's house. Their dog is doing an excellent job of keeping the varmints away. My onions look great, most of my potatoes are up, the broccoli and cabbage are infinitesimally bigger, the broccoli raab is has sprouted, and I think I see a couple tiny leaves that might be a beet. Life is great and the sun is shining.
10:00 AM or so. Ariana nurses again. She goes down to play on the floor. I water my hanging baskets. I've lost a couple of peas but everything else looks great. The lettuce needs to be thinned and the radish tops are getting lots bigger. Yard bunny wishes he has wings. Ariana and I read together and watch a baby einstein video. I'm really not that impressed. Should I be? I do like the way it exposes her to the sound of different languages. Maybe I'll pop it in when she's getting a bath. That way she's not sitting and staring at the screen.
11:30 AM or so. Ariana naps for a bit. I spend entirely too much time getting this new combination clock, temperature thingy working. I write a blog post and fix myself a mushroom and onion cream soup. Ariana gets up and plays in her exer-saucer while I eat.
1:00 PM or so. Ariana nurses. I wash the dishes from yesterday and today. Ariana plays and naps. The kitchen looks fairly decent. I take a load of laundry downstairs and put it in the washer. Ever since a huge spider got away the other day, I have this creepy feeling all over when I go down there but we have to have clean clothes so I gingerly put them in the washer all the while scanning every conceivable surface for some progeny of Shelob to jump out at me. No spider. I try to nap but before I fall asleep Ariana wakes up.
3:00 Pm or so. I put Ariana in her stroller, balance the tomato cages and wire stakes for the cucumbers on top and head across the street. I have her bundled up like an eskimo. She plays happily with her toys. I can't get the cages in the ground. Colleen says Steve is going to till that strip tonight anyway so he'll put them in for me when he's done. I realize that Ariana is dressed twice as heavy as I am and I'm hot so I take off her fur trimmed top. It's really a beautiful day.

I forget what happened the rest of the day. What an adventure! I need a nap.

Why I Love My Tiny House (part 2)

2008-04-30T12:42:00.002-04:00

Second, it's transforming. When I learned that Ariana was on the way, I felt that our home was way too small. I thought we needed more rooms, more storage, in short more stuff and more places to put it. Now after a year and a half, this little house is showing me what is really important. It's not the "junk" that we all live with, trip over, and spend way too much of our lives caring for, hauling around, and picking up. Life is about people, relationships, worship, and truly living every moment. Too much stuff gets in the way.

I thought if I had a dining room we could have larger groups of friends over for fellowship. If I had a spare bedroom, we could have family spend the night, put up missionaries from church, etc. I wanted to blame a lack of things for not using my home to serve others and create a haven for my family. But the truth is a larger table would still be cluttered, another room would not be kept up and ready for company. It is not where I am but who I am that makes the difference. Until I allow God to change who I am I will not be able to use what he has already given me let alone anything bigger. If my home isn't ready to entertain two people at our kitchen table what makes me think that a dining table with eight chairs would be any more ready if I had it. Thanks to this little house I've given away the clothes I never wear, thrown out heaps of stuff, and am very, very, slowly learning how to be an organized person: free to live, to love my family, and serve my God.

Why I Love My Tiny House (part 1)

2008-04-30T11:31:00.004-04:00

First of all, it's adorable. With white siding, black shutters, and pink roses rambling up the porch, it reminds me of a country cottage. The living room and bedroom both have honeyed wood floors. The trim is all wide and old fashioned; it's been painted a million times. I love it. Daffodils, hyacinths, and tulips pop up in the most unexpected places, peaking from behind bushes and even poking their heads up in the yard although most of those didn't bloom. Despite their practicality, I can't ever really fall in love with "perfect" cookie cutter houses. I love the sense of time and life this one conveys.

(un)Limited Government

2008-04-25T10:30:00.006-04:00

In America, according to recent news stories, it's possible for someone to make a call alleging abuse, disappear, and it result in over 400 children being separated from their families. At this point it seems that no one knows whether the call was legitimate or the work of a woman who has perpetrated this type of fraud before. Exactly where, in either the constitution of Texas or that of the United States, does it give the government the right or power to claim custody of hundreds of children because of their parent's affiliations and then try and sort the whole mess out afterward to determine if the parents should be allowed to keep their children. I'm not defending polygamy, or coercion of young women into marriage, or rape, beating or any of the other alleged charges that have been brought against this sect but the court's handling of this case has set a terrifying precedent. After this action, is it so very inconceivable that in the near future authorities could seize the children of everyone attending a church, perhaps one you or your friends attend, because it teaches that spanking is the correct form of discipline and one of the dads was reported for abuse.

Ouch!

2008-04-23T18:45:00.003-04:00

I care about my husband and daughter more than anyone else in the world. Yet so often, I save my best side for strangers. I wait until I'm going out to put on makeup and fix my hair, I leave laundry, dishes, and clutter lying around and then have to clean and stash like a maniac before we can have anyone over or just periodically so that we can survive. Some days I feel that I've been cooped up in a house my whole life, doing chores, caring for munchkins, and never getting ahead (of course that's not strictly true). This isn't how I want things to be.

A dear friend once said, that if her home was good enough for her husband it was good enough for everyone else. I agreed heartily with her. But I still ran around like crazy before I'd let anyone besides Matt in the door, creating a facade of cleanliness and order that didn't exist. Right now my home isn't the haven of peace, order, and rest that I want for my family but unlike visitors that I can put off or meet at the door my family is still here when things are dirty, messy, and disorganized. So I'm working hard everyday to make my home a little cleaner and more orderly than it was the day before, not because anyone is coming over but because I want my family to know they are the most important people in the world.

Our Life

2008-04-22T22:01:00.003-04:00

The last post was a bit premature, but I really am feeling much better now. Ariana and I have planted some broccoli, cabbage, and potatoes in our garden. Every once in a while we walk across the street and water them. We've made it to Bible Study the last two weeks. I'm really enjoying getting to know the other women. Ariana is curled up asleep. She seems to have gotten a little cold which has made her grouchier than normal so I'm enjoying some time to myself now that she's down for the night. My brain is too tired to write anything interesting.

Return From Oblivion

2008-03-27T20:51:00.002-04:00

Not that anybody noticed. Just when I was starting to plant my garden and Ariana and I had been taking walks and reveling in the sun, I got laid up with a nasty cold and cough. Supposedly, it's whooping cough but I'm not convinced. So after several days of feeling utterly miserable and dragging around in a fuzzy blue bathrobe doing little besides sleeping, eating soup, feeding the baby, and reading, I finally felt good enough to fix dinner, post some pictures of Ariana on her blog and putter around the house a bit. Hurray. Hopefully, it won't be too late to plant my spring garden when I finally get well. For now, I'm enjoying watching the lettuce, radishes, spinach, and peas come up in the hanging baskets on my front porch. Ariana is growing taller. It seems like she eats all the time. When she's not eating or napping angelically she enjoys playing in the exer-saucer that some friends loaned us and chewing on any and all toys within her reach. So the days are slipping by in the warm sun of spring and we are enjoying every one of them.

Absurdity

2008-03-14T10:42:00.002-04:00

I've told myself over and over that I'm paranoid when I worry that a stranger will turn me in to the police or child services for leaving Ariana tucked in her car seat out of the howling wind while I return my shopping cart, or sleeping peacefully while I set several loads of groceries inside the door before interrupting her nap by carrying her inside. Maybe I'm not paranoid, maybe I'm all too aware of the world in which I live. This mom found out the hard way that even police officers don't use a great deal of common sense when determining if a child is truly in danger. Sadly, a quick internet search reveals way too many children who have died after being left for several hours in a vehicle, but there is no comparison between leaving a child in a car seat for a minute or two, especially when they aren't even out of your sight, and leaving them for several hours.

Oh my goodness, I'm four months old!

2008-03-05T11:51:00.002-05:00

Purely Adorable

2008-03-05T11:39:00.003-05:00

Happy Baby!

2008-03-04T23:22:00.002-05:00

Spring

2008-03-04T21:50:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, the sunshine warmed my skin. It was the sun of spring, not pale winter's orb but a radiant being which could be felt. Today, the morning fog hushed and dimmed the world, its moisture caressing my cheek like the gentle hand of a lover. Then the clouds wrung themselves out and woke my sleeping daffodils, slipping the brown little hoods off their yellow heads. The earth drank in the intoxicating drought which poured over it. Life was in the air; it smelled of warm earth, waking leaves, and the dreams of buds and flowers. The first jaunty pair of Robins hop-hop-pecked their way across the grass. To me they were not heralds but fellow travelers awakened by the same faint clear call.